


Life's Cruelest Form of Torture

by mycarlydotcom



Series: The Funny Business Timeline [6]
Category: iCarly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23487616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycarlydotcom/pseuds/mycarlydotcom
Summary: It’s Freddie’s birthday, but unfortunately he is stuck spending it at work and school instead of with his loving girlfriend, Sam.
Relationships: Freddie Benson/Sam Puckett
Series: The Funny Business Timeline [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661167
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	Life's Cruelest Form of Torture

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: February 4th, and it’s Freddie’s birthday. Set just one month after the most recent installment of this timeline, Directing Traffic.
> 
> General: Hey everyone! It’s time for another brief installment of the Funny Business timeline, and this sixth installment brings us up to date with where I am right now, currently still writing for this project. The next large installment of this timeline is currently in the works, but we have a few pit stops to make before we get there, so stay tuned! I advise any first time readers to check out the rest of this project to fully immerse yourself in the story. Thank you to all who read!

**_Life's Cruelest Form of Torture_ **

**_Chapter I: Life's Cruelest Form of Torture_ **

Freddie's hand sluggishly crept out from under the covers, reaching over to the nightstand and clicking the button on the side of his PearPhone to silence the alarm going off. After a few minutes of toiling with the reality that morning had rolled around and that it was time for work, he begrudgingly lifted his head from the pillow and sat up right. It was 5:30am and still dark outside. He actually didn't have to be at work until quarter after 7', but since moving into the new apartment with Sam, he had to account for the extra time his commute to work now took. It was certainly much easier when he was living at home over the summer and his job was just short fifteen minutes away.

Rubbing at his sleepy eyes with the back of his wrist, he sat in bed in a semi-awake daze. Despite a decent six and half hours of sleep, he still felt dead-tired as he woke. Of course, this was nothing new, over the past few years Freddie had gotten used to ebb and flow of going through these cycles where he would sometimes feel utterly exhausted from the daily goings-on of life; and right now was one of the lower points in the cycle.

It didn't help that his body had still not yet adjusted from the previously consistent work schedule that he had over the summer. Once University had started back up, that steady schedule went out the window and his work hours became unmanageably erratic. This resulted in no consistency throughout his weeks more often than not. Sometimes he'd be working early morning hours like he was today, and other times he would be working hours late into the night. Aside from the guaranteed stress it would induce over him, there was no consistency whatsoever, and it was draining.

As he sat there dreading the long day ahead of him, he looked to his side at his girlfriend, still asleep. Sam had not even budged despite Freddie's alarm blaring a few minutes earlier. He smiled at her as she slept peacefully beside him. _'This is my reason,'_ he reminded himself in his head as he covered her shoulders that had fallen out from underneath the blankets.

After sitting there contemplating his life for several minutes, he finally mustered up the strength to get out of bed, but just as he went to do so, a sudden tug on his arm stopped him for going anywhere. Sam had latched onto his arm with her own, and was holding tightly. Thinking she was asleep, he turned back to her and attempted to gently pull his arm away.

 _"Don't go,"_ she uttered in a sleepy voice, her eyes still shut. Apparently she wasn't asleep after all.

He chuckled gently at her adorable plea. _"Babe, I got work,"_ he replied softly, _"I have to."_

 _"Can't you stay in bed a bit longer?"_ one of her eyes slightly cracked open. _"I don't want you to leave."_

 _"I don't want to leave either,"_ he said, _"But the rent isn't gonna pay itself."_

Letting out a sleepy, disappointed, groan in response, she relented and let him free of the grip she had around his arm. The desperation he felt to climb right back into that warm bed with his loving girlfriend was excruciating. This had be life's cruelest form of torture, Freddie thought to himself, but he had no choice but to deal with reality. He left the bedroom and proceeded to the kitchen to brew up some coffee to help wake himself up. After turning on the machine to brew up the fresh pot of coffee, Freddie headed to the bathroom for a quick shower.

After his shower, he dried off and headed back to the bedroom to get dressed for the day. He could smell the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee that permeated the apartment as he traveled from one room to the other. Upon reentering the bedroom, he was instantly met with Sam's lips.

 _"Happy Birthday nub-head,"_ she wished him as she flung her arms around his neck.

 _"Aw, you didn't have to wake up for me babe,"_ he told her, _"But thank you."_

 _"I wanted to make sure I said Happy Birthday since you're gonna be out all day,"_ she shrugged.

 _"Ughhh, don't remind me,"_ he groaned.

" _Sorry,"_ she pecked him on the lips again. _"I wish you didn't have to work today."_

" _Yeah, me too,”_ he wearily replied, _“It's gonna be a long day."_

 _"It's so ridiculous that they wouldn't let you take off for your birthday,"_ she said, referencing that Freddie's employer had denied his request for a day off.

 _"I know, but they can do that since I'm technically a 'part-time' employee,"_ he replied, acknowledging that his part-time status at work allowed for foul play by management.

 _"That's total chiz,"_ she retorted. _"You're 'part-time' by title only, but you work so hard. You're practically a full-time employee."_

 _"I know, but what can I do,"_ he shrugged disappointedly, _"I petitioned for 'full-time' status, but they were able to shoot it down since I still go to school."_ Freddie could have told his employer that he wasn't a University student, but then he would be running the risk of getting scheduled to work when he had class. School was important to Freddie so he had to show them his roster to avoid potential scheduling conflicts like that, but his boss certainly took advantage of that fact.

 _"It's not fair,"_ she replied. _"You have to work for hours then go to school after that. That's a lame birthday."_

 _“I’ll live,”_ he shrugged it off.

 _"We're probably not even gonna be able to celebrate tonight, are we?"_ she asked.

 _"Probably not,"_ he shook his no. _"It'll be late by the time I get home."_

" _Lame,"_ she replied. _"I wanted to do something special for your birthday."_

 _"I appreciate the thought babe, but don’t worry about it,"_ he smiled. _"Maybe we can celebrate the next time I have an off day."_

 _"Yeah, so never..."_ she bluntly joked.

 _"Uh-huh,"_ he joked back.

Chuckling, she let go of him and grabbed a hoodie she had left draped over the back of the computer chair in their bedroom. Pulling it over her head and slipping her arms in the sleeves, she asked, _"I smell coffee, did you make coffee?"_

" _Yeah,"_ he nodded as her grabbed his clothes from the dresser. _"You're not gonna go back to sleep?_ he asked, _"I thought you didn't have to babysit until noon?"_

 _"I don't,"_ she confirmed, _"But that coffee smells good. If not being able to go back to sleep after I have some is the price I gotta pay then so be it,"_ she joked as she exited the room.

Freddie then proceeded to get dressed for the day before following Sam out to the kitchen. She had already poured him a mug of coffee to go as he strolled in.

 _"Here,"_ she handed it off to him as he entered the kitchen.

 _"Thanks babe,"_ he grabbed his keys off the hook on the wall. _"Guess I better get going."_

 _"Hold on a second,"_ she stopped him, gently grasping on his jacket.

He stumbled slightly as she tugged on him. _"Whatsup?"_ he asked, staggering back to her.

 _"Two things,"_ she told him. _"One, this,"_ she cutely pulled him in for a kiss. _"Secondly, do you want your present now, or later?"_ she asked after pulling her lips away from his.

 _“Present?”_ he raised his eyebrows.

 _“Mhm,”_ she smiled.

 _"Uhhh, babe I don't think I have time for that right now,"_ he cheekily said with a flirtatious smirk.

 _"Not your 'special' present nub-head!"_ she playfully shoved him. _"You might not even get that if you're gonna be a dork about it."_

He chuckled.

 _"But seriously, I have an actual present for you though,"_ she explained.

" _Babe, you know you didn't have to get me anything…"_

" _Oh c'mon,"_ she interrupted him. _"You pulled that 'no gifts' chiz over Christmas,"_ she argued, _"I'm not letting you do that again. I wanted to get you something, so I did."_

" _Okay, okay,"_ he relented with a smile.

" _So do you want it now or later?"_ she asked again.

 _"Is it cool if we do it later? I really do have to get going so I’m not late for work,"_ he acknowledged.

" _That’s fine,"_ she told him, _"It’s your present, I’ll give it to you when you get home."_

 _"Sounds good, I'll see you tonight then,"_ he pecked her on the lips one more time before heading out.

 _"Mkay, don't work too hard,"_ she joked as she followed him to the door.

**_Later that night…_ **

It was just after 10:30pm when Freddie finally came strolling in after his arduous day at work that was followed by several hours at University. He was exhausted, and couldn't wait to pass out in bed. The apartment was quiet aside from a subtle noise echoing from his PearPad, which was over on the couch with Sam, who was already passed out herself. She must've fallen asleep watching some movie on Webflix while waiting for him. As he took off his jacket and threw it over one of the kitchen stools he noticed a little surprise on the counter. It was a birthday cake, Sam had made him one. He took a small piece and chuckled as he noticed a slice already missing, she had already partaken in it herself. Quickly scarfing down the piece of cake, he tossed his plate in sink, and approached the couch where Sam was. Slipping the PearPad out from under her sleepy, lifeless grasp, he turned off the movie it was still playing and shifted her legs slightly, taking a seat on the edge of the couch.

 _“Hey, babe,”_ he gently patted her leg, _“I think it’s time for bed, don’t you?”_

 _“Hmmm? What?”_ she sleepily muttered in response. _“Freddie?”_ her eyes cracked open.

 _“C’mon, let’s get you off this couch,”_ he grabbed her hand as lazily she sat up.

 _“What time is it?”_ she drowsily asked.

 _“Only 10:30,”_ he smirked.

She chuckled in her semi-conscious state. _“Sorry, I fell asleep waiting for you to get home.”_

_“You shouldn’t have woken up when I did today, that’s why you’re so tired.”_

_“Whatev,”_ she shrugged. _“I made you a cake, did you…”_

 _“Mhm, I already had some,”_ he replied before she could finish her sentence, _“And thank you.”_

She nodded with a smile.

 _“C’mon, I’m tired too,”_ he tugged on her hand to get her off the couch. _“Let’s get to bed.”_

 _“Wait, wait,”_ she tugged back, stopping him from standing up. _“You’re gift.”_

 _“You’re half asleep babe,”_ he chuckled. _“It can wait.”_

 _“Shhh, I want to give it to you,”_ she argued. Reaching over to the end table beside the couch, she grabbed what looked to be an envelope with presumably a birthday card inside. _“Here, open it.”_

With a smile, he obliged, opening the envelope and revealing the birthday card inside, which jokingly read at the bottom…

_‘Happy Birthday, I hate you - hate Sam’ ;)_

As he had opened the card, the contents within had fallen out, face down into his lap. _“What are these?”_ he asked.

 _“Look at them,”_ she said.

Picking them up, he was elated to find two tickets to the upcoming Galaxy Wars convention that would be making a stop in Seattle soon. _“Whoa! Sam! You got me tickets for the Galaxy Wars convention?!”_

 _“Happy birthday,”_ she smiled. _“I know how bad you wanted to go, so I thought I’d get us some tickets.”_

 _“Us?”_ he smirked.

 _“Yes, I’ll go with you to your little dork fest convention,”_ she playfully rolled her eyes.

He laughed. _“Thank you, babe. This is so awesome! I hope they weren’t too expensive.”_

 _“Don’t worry about it,”_ she waved him off. _“I took a few extra babysitting gigs the past couple weeks to pay for them. It’s no big deal.”_

He cutely smiled at her.

 _“Stop, don’t make me feel all awkward and nubby,”_ she protested, to which he chuckled. _“Anyway, those are redeemable the entire week the convention is here, so don’t worry about not having off for it. Whatever day you’re available is when we’ll go,”_ she explained.

_“Wow, you got it all planned out huh?”_

_“Mama gets it done,”_ she joked.

 _“Well, thank you,”_ he reiterated to her.

 _“You’re welcome,”_ she pecked him lips. _“By the way, we’re both tired as chiz, so I hope you’re okay with taking a rain check on your ‘special’ present,”_ she joked.

 _“For sure, I’m definitely too tired,”_ he agreed, _“But don’t worry, I plan on cashing that check at my earliest convenience,”_ he jokingly continued.

 _“Whatever, nub-head,”_ she playfully rolled her eyes again. _“Take me to bed.”_

Laughing as he grabbed her hand, the two stood up from the couch and headed to the bedroom.


End file.
